1. |
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2. |
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A
when i was young and suicidal E
there was no world outside this fuckin' town
A
Now that i'm older i'm losing patience
I was asked once or twice to join the freemasons
E
I knew that I had to go this is not my life
I set out to find my place in the world
I chased after girls and I didn't do so bad
I traveled across the Mississippi
Even took a couple ladies with me
I asked my self it this what life is like?
D E
I look back on all the good times
A D
and I hope those memories stay
E A
I'll have fun like that some day soon but not today
I made out with her at the Hotel Congress
I didn't remember hr name later on that night.
Almost talked politics and got in a fight
But she changed the subject, I held her tight
E
And I knew somehow for real this was love at first sight
D E
just seven months before she left me
A D
and she didn't have nothin' to say
D E A
I'll get over her some day soon, but not today.
Didn't look around for sympathy
And it wasn't long till you found me at my worst
You picked me up and you dusted me off
And then you broke my heart and stalked me for at least six months
I wrote some songs that no one would buy
I even ripped off "Teenage Riot"
that got me down but I never gave up on you
You were confused u didn't know what you wanted
and i ran the other way
I'll fall in love some time soon but not today
D E
And now you ask if i wanna get married
A D
But I can't get outta my own way
E A
That time will come I promise you but not today
Remember the time I wrote you that song but you took the words the wrong way? You'll figure me out some day soon but not today.
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3. |
Poo Crackle
02:15
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oh does your poo crackle when it comes out your backside?
do your teeth float when you have to pee?
when you pass gas does it smell like rotten eggs
do you wonder why it happens is it a mystery?
oh i didn't make this song to cheer you up
I didn't make this song to save my butt
'cause I know my days are numbered and I guess yours are too
so you might as well sing along 'till then
oh does your poo crackle when it comes out your back side cause that's a sure fire sign of health
you don't want to be the last one caught laughing at someone else
so you should probably laugh at yourself.
oh i didn't want to scare you when i undressed
but when i disrobed you sure looked distressed
i didn't know what about but then i figured out
that since I'm hairy you thought I was still dressed
but does your poop crackle when it comes out your backside
or do you shit rose petals as women often do?
Somebody told me once Asian girls have sideways cunts
and a girl will take it in the ass if she's a Greek or Jew
now before u get your panties in a bunch
there's something first on which i should touch
when you get old enough to die all the truths will seem like lies
and all the lies u told will all seem like the truth
but one thing will still hold true...
I hope your poo crackles when it comes out your backside
and your teeth float when you have to pee
and when you pass gas it will smell like rotten eggs
and you'll wonder why it happens
yes you'll wonder why it happens
yes
you'll
wonder
why
it happens
all the time
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4. |
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Smokin' Joe Haines Sagaponack, New York
Joseph Haines is a singer, songwriter, arranger, composer and multi-instrumentalist. Joseph writes Rock, Pop, Rap and Country music. He plays over a dozen instruments with a focus on Bass, both upright and electric. He currently resides in Wallkill, New York, where he writes and records a myriad of different compositions. ... more
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